Change
by El Scorcho
Summary: **Complete**
1. Dean

A/N: Started a*nother* fic....heh.  
  
It's too hard of a decision. Either way seems to have bad results.  
  
Dean has been there. He's my boyfriend. He's always supportive, and understanding, and patient. He loves me, he says. Do I really feel the same way? I can see it now. A perfect American family. That would be my future with Dean, at least the one I can see. Me, and then my perfect husband. We would lead predictable, stereotypically normal lives, complete with the white picket fence and the dog, and the children at the top of their classes, one boy and one girl.   
  
Both parents with sucessful jobs, but always enough time for their children. A new minivan, to take the children to their various academic, musical, and athletic activities, in which they excel. A car for each parent to take to work. A nice, two story home in Stars Hollow.   
  
It's so plainly layed out that I can't see it any other way. That's what bothers me so much. I see him not as who I enjoy seeing every day, but as who I see every day. Who's there. Something as normal and every day as waking up, brushing my teeth, going to sleep, drinking my morning coffee. That's what I see him as. A routine.  
  
"Hi Dean."   
  
"Hi Rory."  
  
Kiss.  
  
Hug.  
  
Walk.  
  
Why do I feel like I'm missing out? 


	2. Jess

A/N: My chapters are really short, but they'll probably be getting longer starting with the next one...PLEASE REVIEW.  
  
The other hand. I have Jess.  
  
Every day I see Jess, it's something different. We have no basic routine of hellos, hugs, kisses, and walks. Anything that happens is something spontaneous, not planned or ordinary. We can talk about books, or music, or something deep, or problems, or what's wrong with people. It's always an interesting discussion.  
  
I don't have that with Dean. That's why I see Jess every day. Because I feel like I'm missing out. The holes that Dean leaves, that seems to be why Jess is there. No matter what happens, he's always willing to talk to me. If Dean was mad, he'd just avoid me. If Jess was mad with me, he'd make it known to me. There's an open honesty we have.  
  
He just blew in from New York, seeming not to care for anyone. I don't know...I guess I was intrigued by him. Jess isn't a bad person. He has his own way of showing that he cares...  
  
But I don't see a future with him. Meaning I can't predict what would happen if I was to stay with Jess. If I broke up with Dean. There's something exciting. I don't want to know a layout of the rest of my life when I'm seventeen. With Dean I can predict our life, I don't think I want it. With Jess...I don't know what would happen.  
  
Dean and I have been together for awhile. I don't think I want to marry Dean. I don't think I *love* him. A girl's supposed to have more than one boyfriend in her life, right? And our future life, the only one that I can picture, isn't exactly the kind of life I want to live. If I was to see Dean every day, and no one else, I don't know if I'd like that.  
  
And the classic desert island scenario...if I was stranded on a desert island, who would I rather be stranded with? With Dean, I suppose we would just talk, he would probably try to protect me. With Jess, we could talk about anything, and probably end up finding a way off. He's smart, and I know he'd find some way.  
  
Maybe I'm already stranded, just waiting for someone to rescue me. 


	3. Break

School is over, and I'm walking down the streets of Stars Hollow, looking at the ground. Wondering about everything. Everything and anything I can find to worry about I am.   
  
"Rory!" I hear a familiar voice behind me, and turn around. I put on a smile, as sincere and carefree as I can, as Dean walks up.  
  
"Hi Dean," I say brightly.   
  
"Hey, I wanted to talk to you."  
  
"About what?" My smile starts to slip, he's the one looking worried now.  
  
"About...us."  
  
"What's wrong?" He's not smiling anymore.  
  
"You're...you're never really *here*. I don't get what's wrong. You won't talk to me. I love you, Rory, but I don't think we're getting anywhere. We're not...communicating. I don't think we're working. I feel like we're just staying together because neither of us has wanted to say anything about it. I don't want to be like that."  
  
I don't really know how to answer. "Are you...are you...?" I can't finish my question.  
  
He looks at me. "Rory, I'm sorry. I just don't think we'll work."  
  
There's no tears. I wonder why. Shouldn't there be tears? Why am I not crying? I'm the one he's breaking up with, but he looks like he's the one who's sad, not me.  
  
"O...ok..." I still don't know how to respond. I have all these mixed feelings.   
  
"Bye, Rory." And he turns his back on me and walks away. I watch him disappear down the sidewalk, and turn the corner five minutes later. He doesn't look back.   
  
I numbly start walking home. Mom will be more upset than I am. I don't feel a flood of sadness, or happiness. Now that he's gone...I don't know. 


	4. Sunny Days

A/N: Sorry for the delay...I've been writing a lot of short 1 chapter stories lately...I usually do that and never finish the longer fics. Well even though Jess and Rory are already together I'll still continue this...  
  
==--===--==  
  
Numbly I sit on my bed.  
  
That breakup happened a little too fast. It was like a badly written play. He hated me...because if he didn't, then why would he have done that? Breaking up with me in public? Fast, just like that. Over. Dean and I were over.  
  
Now I have nowhere to turn. I don't want to tell my mom, she'll probably take it harder than me.  
  
I change into some different clothes and go outside. I didn't notice before, but it's a sunny day. Bright and sunny. I should be kind of happy, right? Now I'm free from Dean...  
  
"Hey."  
  
A voice behind me.  
  
I turn around.  
  
"Hey," I say. I don't really feel like smiling. The fact that it's Jess, who might want to rub it in my face, doesn't help.  
  
"Er, I saw what happened with Dean, and--"  
  
"You *saw*?"  
  
"Yeah, and I'm sorry, really, it was wrong of him to do that--" He's talking really fast, and I can barely understand what he's saying.  
  
"Thanks." I give a slight smile.  
  
"Ok, what I'm trying to get at--Would you like to go to the movies or something with me later?"  
  
This is a big change from the Jess I thought I know.  
  
"Sure," I say. I guess it's looking up already.  
  
==--===--==  
  
Ok, I take this as one of my worst fics. I wrote it badly, although the plot could have been done better. Sorry! I was working on some of my other fics...So please check out Something to Live For, Defeat, and Just One Thing. :D 


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